Week 11a

Today in class we started out with doing a peer review of the 900 word narratives we had to write the other day. My group consisted of Jon Manos, Jianzhu Ba, and Roy Engle. The feedback I got mostly consisted of a couple questions that required some clarification, for instance the timeline of when John Turner was in jail was confusing to Roy. So I changed up some of the dialogue in the script to clarify this.  

Some of the feedback I received:

Some feedback I gave Roy:

After doing the peer reviews we had a short lecture that explained script writing and the format for doing it. Then we had in class work time to start working on our own scripts. I choose to so my 3-5 pages in the middle of the narrative because that’s where I felt that the most action was. The intro was mostly set-up and the end was just wrapping everything up. After starting on the script it seems that my comic pages will only cover Arnold being kidnapped, Talking to his captor, and then starting to escape. I’m being careful to be very descriptive of the settings so that in theory somebody else could pick up the script and at least make something close to what I’m picturing. Here’s my script so far:

Page 10

PANEL 1: ECU tight shot on arnold's eyes as they are partially opening as he wakes up. HE is very groggy and his eyes won’t be focused.

Arnold: UGGHH,

PANEL 2: ECU thin panel about half the size of panel 1. Arnold’s eyes glance up and to the left

PANEL 3 ECU Same size as panel 2. Arnolds eyes glance quickly over to the right.

Arnold: Where am I?

PANEL 4:  Worm’s eye View of the ceiling. The ceiling is made up of numerous dirty and awfully stained ceiling tiles that look like they’ve been neglected for years. Some of the tiles are completely missing and loose wires dangle from the openings. A couple of dark pipes with chipped paint come down through.

Arnold: These disgusting ceiling tiles aren’t the lovely eggshell plaster ceiling that I’m used to seeing in the morning...

Panel 5: ECU very tight shot on a digital watch face where only the watch face is visible. The time shown is 11:45 PM. The watch is well used, but loved. Slightly scuffed up and has one or two scratches on the screen.

Arnold: ... Cripes, It's not the morning. It isn’t even past midnight!

PANEL 6: Establishing shot of INT. Arnold is sat tied to an old wooden chair positioned on the right third of the panel. The chair is of medium size, not too fancy, and the kind that would be for a dinner table.  The room is an old office that has been abandoned for a long time and is illuminated by a lamp on the floor in front of Arnold. This cause a long shadow to be cast on the floor and the wall behind Arnold. Several other trash esq items are on the floor casting shadows. The room an average ceiling height for an office and several chairs and desks are stacked on the left hand wall in the FG. Arnold is wearing a two piece PJ suit with a repeating pattern of leaping sheep. The top buttons down with long sleeves, and the bottoms are just a little too short for him.

Arnold: Clearly something is wrong here (Staring directly out at the viewer)

Page 11

PANEL 1 Worm’s eye POV of Arnold from the waist up. Arnold is trying the glance behind him as a loud creak is coming from that direction. Arnold isn’t panicking he’s calling out in a loud and clear voice.  The dirty ceiling tiles are slightly visible above his head but not enough to be distracting. The area behind Arnold is cast in strong shadow.

Arnold: Hello? Who’s there?

spx : creeeeeaaaak

PANEL 2  FS of an open doorway. Standing in the door is a man wearing grey trousers and an oversized flannel shirt. The man is cut in half in about a 30 degree angle sloping up to the right by a strong shadow from the doorway so that only below his waist is visible in the light. Everything else is silhouetted.

John: Hello there Arnold, Who I am doesn’t matter to you right now...

Arnold : Got it!

John: um excuse me?

PANEL 3 Shoulder up shot of arnold’s head. He’s looking very smug with his eyes closed and a slight smile on his face as he talks. BG is solid black to focus on Arnold and his face.

Arnold: You’re John Turner who had ten hostages held up in the quickie clean laundromat on the corner of  Nuebry and State Street eight years ago ...

PANEL 4 This a long panel with Arnold positioned on the left hand side. He’s still making the same face as he continues to talk.